Emergency Room (Part1) Getting There- Analytical Comedic Review

A quick note to everyone – I started typing this rant with intention of a single rant of the process from intake to discharge into the ER. Of course, it wasn’t that simple causing me to break it up. As you will see just getting to the ER contains enough to try and absorb.

***Apply a kind of sarcastic taunt tone while reading

Emergency Room (Part 1)

-Your having an {{emergency situation}} that requires {{immediate attention}}, so you go to the hospital emergency room. But, there are a few ways in which you arrive at the emergency room. I think we should go over these and be considerate and thankful that the medical establishment has gone through the trouble of reserving a section of the hospital along with assigned staff, procedure and more just for emergencies… But thats there-… You have to get there first!… You are not their responsibility until you are admitted there. There are some complexities as well as choices you need to make prior to getting to the E.R. so when and if you get there you better make sure you did so in a manner in which will increase your chances of getting the attention you need.

1)When you arrive to the hospital emergency room by ambulance. Usually this indicates the person…Oh sorry—(PATIENT) is likely, but not always, having a medical emergency. Sometimes the ambulance is bringing in the ones that “did’t make it” “Not responding to treatment” showing “no vitals” I have even heard the phrase “Non-…survivable…injuries” in other words …DEAD! I’s bad enough people are always in denial now we force paramedics too..
>>>> {{But wait just a minute}} they can not be labeled as dead NO NO NO not without proper authority and procedures authorizing them first. {{We wouldn’t want to wrongfully accuse a dead person of being dead until we are absolutely sure by getting authorized approval}} Apparently, dead people are racially profiled and discriminated and Dr’s are the only ones capable and authorized to make that {CALL} According to the medical view there is the layman’s definition for dead and a medical definition for dead… {{Listen, I’ve never disagreed on the stupidity of the general population but even a young child nows when something is dead. They notice the family goldfish floating in the bowl and say (Mommy another goldfish died) and have the ceremonial bathroom flushing of the dead. But for people it’s not as simple and unless that victim is decapitated, or showing {{dependent lividity/rigor mortis}} the paramedic is not authorized to call them dead! In other words a victim of car accident where the paramedics arrive and the person is not breathing or having a pulse they can not say they are dead because there may be a slim chance that medical intervention could bring them back to life. If thats the case wouldn’t the paramedic need to tell the Dr the patient is dead to indicate the required treatment of resurrection? On the other hand I find some comfort in knowing that diagnosis of death requires a second opinion. Way to complicated- forget the phrase “life after death” because its not looking appealing so far and should have a phrase “death after life” (I’ll have to make a separate post ranting on this) Lets get the living to the hospital first and just note to yourself that ambulance is not the way to go if your dead OK

Alright, now for a living (if reading the above chaos hasn’t killed you yet) your in route by means of ambulance, you get your own personal ride there, your own personal staff attending to your needs, loading you up with drugs, blasting the siren, flashing lights, breaking standard traffic laws with immunity, and vip access upon arrival at the ER. You have an entourage anxiously waiting for your arrival to zip you right in past the admittance staff and all the non-vip guests in the waiting room straight into the vip area of the ER where multiple staff is told to attend to you.

2)You bring yourself there. {{If you brought yourself I highly doubt your experiencing a medical emergency}} That would explain them making you sit in the waiting room.
** If need be here is a way to cut the line and not have to sit in there with all these infected people. At intake one symptom you need to tell them is chest pain. Thats the guest list password to gain immediate access.

>>>> Think about that for second. A section of the hospital dedicated for emergency patients actually has a waiting room. I think it should be called the “Drama Detention Room” They are trying to educate or punish people to stop considering every little splinter, cut, bump on the head, a medical emergency. Listen people, little Billy falling off his bicycle and having a cut on his knee is not a medical emergency. Your over dramatizing and obsessive parenting is a psychological emergency- YOUR IN THE WRONG AREA… Than you wonder why the person on the other side of the room with a cut off finger in a lunch box packed on ice is giving you dirty looks. He unfortunately was accidentally misplaced by the admittance staff (bouncers).

Than you also wonder why once you finally get in you have to wait even longer to see a DR.
You really expect a Dr to give a shit about cuts, bruises, food poising, common colds, or any other insignificant reason your are taking up space in their emergency room without and emergency condition. HELL NO! They are waiting for the VIP or DOA (dead on arrival). Besides,
they have plenty of staff more than qualified to place a bandaid on your stubbed toe, or take your temperature. Even better, they keep you busy and increase revenue by conducting {{as many tests as possible}}. Let me clarify that or revise by saying they administer tests completely irrelevant in excess. Majority of them are immediately done once your in.. EKG, BP, Draw Blood, IV Fluids, Aspirin, Urine Sample, Skin Culture, Throat Culture all in a matter a minutes when all you needed was a few stitches on your hand. After the accumulated the initial abundance of billable tests than they go for trying to get some higher ticket items sold. Your cut on the had that needs 3 stitches is {{of course going to need an X-ray MRI. Oh and since you told them you vomited earlier that day you also need a chest X-ray to check for internal damage}} (Separate rant to continue this)

Bottom line….. Lets save the emergency room for actual emergencies and if so make sure you go the VIP way in an ambulance so long as your not dead!

*** Don’t forget there is much more on this!! So make sure you read them to get the whole rant part2 link